"The Hardest to Learn is the least complicated" - The Indigo Girls

I like introspection...here's some more.

For 21 years I've been dieting, thinking about losing weight, and lamenting my physique.

21 years. That's a lot of practice. And most of that time i didn't really do anything...except drink skim milk instead of whole, drink diet soda instead of regular, eat NO fat, then I ate more protein, etc. etc.

It wasn't until about 5-6 years ago that i decided to drop the habit of "weight loss thinking".

The main thinking can be boiled around to three basic statements that can revolve in my head at time.

1. "Oh i better get around to losing weight."
   
2. "I'll finally be able to rest and be happy if i get skinny."
3. "I can't believe anyone could love someone whose legs/stomach/arms/face is so fat"
   

Part of me is waiting to live my life because I don't feel that being who i am in my body is enough to make my life fulfilling.

So way back when, I deicded to quit the 21 years of bad thinking.
I quit worrying about fat grams, calories, minutes spent in the gym, heart rates. All of these things were stressing me out and would cause the loop of those 3 thoughts and a lot of depression and anxiety to start again and again.

Here's what I started DOING that helped stop the THINKING about doing..;-)

• Dropping all the "Food rules" while I figure out what exercising will do for me. It takes the pressure off and lets the mind just rest and ENJOY FOOD. A funny thing also happens...exercise changed the food I chose.
• Playing sports. I love to play sports...i never really understood this until a few years back. Volleyball, softball, and soccer for a short while helped me to socialize without the bar ;-) (or less bar!)
  
• doing yoga. stretching and strengthening...
• Discovered that I LOVE to dance to bands with funky and awesome beats. And trhough other friends i learned that anyone can dance ;-)
  
• Trying ANYTHING. Rock climbing was fun...couldn't make it stick, running felt good, but is too hard on my knees and hips while I'm over 170 lbs, swimming has turned out to be the perfect exercise for ME.
• Stopped watching so much tv. TV tends to tell us stories that we take into our life that are not useful (See my tiny rant about Nutrasweet below..)
• Realize that exercising is great and sweating feels good.
  
• Eating things that taste good...only. Seriously, how did we all convince ourselves that NUTRASWEET is TASTY? IT IS DISGUSTING.
  
• Taste testing new foods. Eggplant. Different types of mushrooms...Fruit salads (pineapple plus anything equal tasty!).. Tofu, not so much for me.
• Remind myself how great myself is. This body is slamming. It can swim, run when chased, do a full back bend
  
• Remember that loving myself as I am is my first job if I'm going to love anyone else.

When i day dream about the perfectness of my body at a size 10 (oh sweet jeans), I just accept it as a possibility...then look down at my chubby tummy and thighs and say "I Love You."

When in doubt about how great I am, I listen to the Indigo Girls.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYcGcT-FMHc