Feeling better

I've been working w/ different ways to limit my refined sugar intake.

One treat a day seems to work the best. I always know I've got something good coming, and it makes it easier to resist extra stuff...except when you have the chocolate days :). Then i think 2 treats is a good way to go.

I've also been in good phase of cooking, which is fun. I love to get in the kitchen and try stuff out. Today it's two dishes...which i'm making for my friend Michele before we go to see a band tonight (we are both broke because we all went to Hawaii back in October. Long story...beautiful place).

Garlicky baked butternut squash

and Shrimp Scampi w/pasta and Kale

Super duper YUM.

Will report back!

Alternative Health Frustration

I gorged last night...

Not on food, but on information. A while back a cute little woman of chinese heritage running a smoothie shop informed me that I had "the yeast". She said that the overeating i do, and sugar cravings are from something called a Systemic Candida infection. (too much yeast inhabiting your digestive tract, or other areas of your body).

So i search for this off and on, and I'm totally saturated w/ the information that is available on the web and in books that I've taken out of the library.

And...as is usual w/ alt health stuff...I'm confused. Tired of searching for myself, and interested in just fixing this (if it's in fact "the yeast" that I have)

I've come to the conclusion that when anything is extremely complex (like being overweight) you find that a lot of people label themselves as "experts" and will happily give you their opinions.

So what I like to do is to read what the experts say and draw my own non-expert conclusions by looking for the overlap, and the most practical options for me.

Here's the overlap on the yeast...and in stopping sugar cravings...

1. Cut most of the sugar out of your diet. Raw honey is ok, but use it sparingly
2. Limit fruit to 2-3 servings a day...it's better than sugar tho, so if you crave sugar, eat fruit instead
3. Eat more vegetables, preferably those that are lower on the glycemic index
4. Reduce the amount of fat you eat...no fried foods at all.
5. Exercise regularly.
6. Get enough sleep
7. Drink lots of warm and hot water and herbal teas.
8. Use a neti pot/sinus rinsing device at least daily
9. Stop eating vinegar, start using lemon juice instead.
10. Talk to a qualified alt health practitioner and detrmine if you do, indeed, have "the yeast"

#10 kind of freaks me out. Insurance doesn't typically cover alt health practitioners...so i'm going to do some research to find one or more that I can try out. If the woman @ OR Smoothies is right, then I've got a long term problem to solve.

If not, then steps 1-9 are just plain healthy advice.

Too bad i have $50 worth of Girl Scout cookies ...

Self-massage

Deepak has many suggestions for daily practices that will keep you happpier and healthier.

One of them is self massage...

For those of us who are overweight, we have a "Kapha" imbalance... meaning that we are accumulating and carrying excess baggage...mentally, physically, emotionally.

Another thing to remember is that when under stress, everyone gets out of touch with his or her body.

Enter: the dry massage

and Abhyanga, sesame oil massage.

First: Dry massage: Take a dry loofah...over "long" bones or arms and legs do back and forth motion...20-40 times.

At your joints use a circular motion

I was very skeptical that this would be good on my skin...but it leaves me w/ a "buzz". It is invigorating and definitely wakes up my body.

Second: Follow dry massage w/ a sesame oil massage. Warm a small amount in your hand (or have a small plastic bottle and warm that in hot water). Starting w/ your scalp and using circular motions, massage all over w/ sesame oil. pay special attention to your feet.

then follow all of THAT with a steaming hot shower.

Repeat daily.

After all of this, i felt AMAZING. Relaxed and alert. Calm. bright eyed. Coffee? who needs coffee?

This total took me about 20-30 min. Right now i can't add that to my routine daily, but oh what a world it would be if i could.

Clean the office...or make Ayurvedic food

Make Ayurvedic food in an effort to avoid the office. ...

Hey. Don't Judge. Deepak said "you need to boil your milk"

and then he said "Ghee is purified butter. it is what you should cook with. so spend at least an hour on your saturday or sunday skimming the crap off the top of it.

God, I love Deepak. Meanwhile, my office has more and more crap piled into it.

But i have clarified butter...and boiled milk.

The boiled milk is actually kind of tasty. and i have been really drinking a lot of it. So Thumbs Up, Deepak!

So far i haven't made anything w/ the ghee (clarified butter...melt butter and skim the crap off the top, then pour the middle layer into a clean bowl leaving the bottom layer of crap in the pan. I read after i did it this way that you can achieve the same effect faster by straining through a cheesecloth).

Tomorrow i'll tell you what it's like to massage yourself w/ Sesame oil prior to showering. ...

the short answer is ...invigorating!! :-)

I like big butts

So there's an old episode of Scrubs, where Turk says to JD, "When a black girl asks 'does my butt look big?' you say 'Hell Ya!'" The reasoning being that in the black community, curves are highly prized...and women go out of their way to accentuate them.

Then there's the rest of us, who lament the size of our legs (there's an old blues song that talks about "Big legs, and a tight skirt") and how our butts stick out (I like big butts and i cannot lie)

Just goes to show you the difference between cultures.

What's my point? hmmm. Take a lesson. All women are pretty. it's just a fact of life...

ok. sleepy now. go say "i'm pretty" to yourself. you'll feel better.

Vacation Day

I took a mental health day...so far, it has been lovely! I'm sure it will improve after my coffee and a massage. I have already walked the child to the baby sitter and am enjoying some morning TV.

It's not this part of the day that I found interesting (I want my day to be as uninteresting as possible!)...I was awake from 3am until 5pm. I had to check my bank accounts because I felt broke (thank God I'm not!). And I read up on Medifast. My coworkers are doing this program. The lady who sits next to me is taking in under 900 calories a day. But she's lost 12 pounds this week.

Please tell me that this isn't a safe program. Somebody? Anybody? Otherwise I'm afraid I'll be sucked in and the money will go into the same toilet that the WW@W one went.

The idea of prepackaged meals and only eating liquid-y items (for the most part) all day every day SUCKS! I researched their website and saw that there are other options...like eating one meal w/lean protein and veggies.

I don't want to fall into the "easy" trap again. My mental state always steers me towards the "but if you pay for it, you'll do it" thoughts. Instead, I sooooo need to get into the "if you commit to it, you'll do it" mentality. At this point I'm painfully fat and am still not ready to have another child (mentally I'm ready; physically I'm afraid it would kill me).

Okay, that was my brain puking on the blog. Maybe I'll sleep better tonight!!! For now, I'm off for my massage.

Happy and food

I've been trying hard to eat only when hungry, and to eat things that are good for me..i wear a blue ring that i've had for years. somehow this ring evokes an emotion in me...one that makes me want to try hard to be as good to myself as possible. So I often stroke the ring and think good thoughts.
Then when i feel the "urge" to eat something that I'm not really hungry for, or that might make me feel tired, sick, or low...i rub the ring again.

Weird i know. but somehow it feels right.

Shoes

Today marks the first time I've ever purchased a shoe specifically for exercising. I typically buy the all-purpose tennis show that I wear on weekends and on the rare occasion that I exercise. Frankly, buying a size 11 shoe at any mall is a huge PIA. I look at boxes vs. style. But I found a nice gray/pink pair. My fav!

* Note to self: return library book soon (The Perfect Weight)...the library will be calling soon. At this rate, I could have purchased the book for less money than I'll need to pay the fine. *

Bringing back POTATOS

As summer is wrapping up, i'm being presented with gifts from my parents' garden, and one of the best of those is home grown Potato's.

I don't know if you noticed, but unless you are eating @ a steak house, potatos aren't around a whole lot anymore.

do not fear this "white" starch. The silly carb fear-mongers lumped it into high glycemic stuff, but whatever. Eat it with the peel, in it's natural form (not as chips :-) and it's extremely good for you.

EAT POTATOs!! :-)

Intentions..walk every day until Hawaii and do some core strengthening every day..bare minimum

will report back...so far 2 days in...we're doin' good ;-)

TV and my good intentions

I love TV. I gave it up by quitting cable and just gorging on DVD's some evenings and weekends...but they were finite....

Now i met Hulu.com. And it's taken over.

Sometimes I watch quality shows...but not often. the bulk of what I watch on tv just makes me feel good for the moment...with relationships that are interesting, and full of intrigue...and everything works out in the end...
everyone is pretty, and knows how to say what they mean and feel...or learns how to in 30-60 min.

And now it's all available for free on Hulu.com oh ya, you other cable-less people head to hulu. you'll see what I'm talking about

Weird hunger lately

It's crazy but i have experienced a week of being hungry frequently, and the hunger is a little excessive, and craves heavy food, even just junk.

I'm not sure why this is, but it continued, then changed towards the end of the week. I was getting hungry, but i felt very turned off by food. i couldn't figure out what to eat!

Don't know why, but it was weird....
on the upside...i went to my family's annual float trip, and had such a great time. and i didn't overeat....but i did eat whatever I wanted. Had just a few wings on sat night. had a nice meal of ribs, tato salad, and beans...and didn't finish it all (unusual :-).

It was so nice. I think that my mind and such are starting to sync up a lot better. so that when i am hungry, i eat...and when i am full...i stop...and actually don't want more.

Not every time...but I'm noticing it much more frequently than i used to.

Very simple, but something i've not done a lot in the past.

Weekly intention: Daily exercise

My new guru, deepak, does a weekly intention on his blog. Mark this as the first of mine.

This week I intend to do 30-60 min of activity daily, such as walking, swimming, volleyball, etc..
This will be my focus for the week.

Since it's monday, and i tend to be overly ambitious on Monday's, I will also try these "sub-intentions" from Deepak's Perfect weight book

1. Sip hot water throughout the day (1-2 sips every 30 min)
2. Cook my own food.
3. do the dry loofah massage each day (this feels Amazing btw.)

And here I'm taking a page from Danielle...and stopping.
The one thing he recommends that i should probably do is "eating in a quiet environment focusing on the food".
I have trouble with this. I really like to read or watch tv while eating alone. I'll either work up to it, or figure something out...

Chapter 3 and Fudge Grahams

Okay, I'm here to endorse the new 1/2 dipped Fudge Grahams. While my mouth did ask "hey, where's the chocolate," my mind (and my behind) were very excited that I was eating something not TERRIBLY bad for me. Yay. Of course, this was on the heals of 1 1/2 BLTs. But I did eat four apple slices. And some Snapea Crisps...I like those and it is something green the child will eat.

Anyway, I'm skipping WW@W this week. I haven't really skipped deliberately yet, so I'm going to take this one as my first total avoidance week. I can't wait for my 12 weeks to be up. Which is sad...on one hand, I'm out lots of cash. On the other, I've only gained weight. On one foot, I hate going to the meetings...and on the other foot, I really hate going to the meetings. I would, however, like to go back to TOPS. I will have to discuss that w/my hubby since we had to stop going thanks to a work project that is still ongoing. I thought work meeting would really rock. However, they are held at work. With co-workers. And it just truly feels like work. It's hard to explain. And this is a public forum. I love my job. I want to keep it...

I'm going to work on some ideas I got from Chapter 3 of Perfect Weight. I haven't tried the loofah or sesame oil massages yet. Anything that tacks two minutes onto my "get ready for work" routine is uninteresting to me. I'm constantly late as it is. However, Deepak discusses the doshas that are dominate during different hours of the day. I would like to work on his ideas that I should be in bed by 10am and up by 6am. I think getting up by 6pm would also eliminate issues I have with my daughter's new found habit of coming downstairs each morning and climbing into bed w/us to watch cartoons.

Deepak also discussed that after we did our two weeks of eating when we are hungry, we should start consistantly eating lunch at the same time (at noon or 12:30). And, like we've heard elsewhere, making lunch the biggest meal of your day. The eating constantly is a big struggle with me. I eat at 11 some days and at 2 others...if I eat at all.

The most interesting thing I found about Chapter 3 is that he suggests that you really don't need breakfast. He said some people do need cereal or toast and all that...but keep it simple. I like that because on my diets or eating programs, I feel very forced to eat breakfast. And I'm not really hungry when I wake up. We'll see how it all goes. I really do need to step up and get with some program. This getting fatter and older isn't really working out. I don't feel fat...and maybe that's my problem (said the person typing w/her pants unbuttoned because she may have had one cookie too many)...sigh.

The Dinner Table

So Chapter 3 of our little "Perfect Weight" book is a bit controversial, as he recommends "self-massage" with a loofah. So far it doesn't bother me. I can't wait to hear what Danielle says :-).

Another big part of it is changing your eating habits to become more mindful of the food you are eating..working to slowly chew and eat and savor every bite...doing so in a calm environment.

Which brings me to my story. Recently, I was lucky enough to sit down to dinner with my parents, 2 of my 3 brothers and my niece and nephew on a a Tuesday night.

My brother and Mom tag teamed on frying bacon for bacon/lettuce/tomato sandwiches. (yum)
Then everyone started piling into the kitchen to help, backseat fry, and/or just generally harass the kitchen staff. the meal was great. BLT's with your choice of jelly/butter toast or Mayo. ( Both, duh).

Then I promptly sat down and ate 3 different sandwiches and quite possibly 1/2 lb of bacon (we made a total of 3 lbs. we. like. bacon.).

I was STUFFED. and i realized that i ate all of that in about 10 min. it felt like the whole evening was on Fast Forward. My brother had to get the kids home and showered and put to bed. I still had to drive an hour to get home, younger bro and Dad were working in the shop.
Crazy busy.
ALSO...we've always joked at how quickly my family can put down a meal. we are efficent eaters and can polish off an entire meal together in about 10-15 min. Always have. My theory is that we are 3 boys, 1 girl. Boys are generally competitive, and the one that finishes his first portion first, gets to the leftovers faster.

Just saying...my cousin are a family of all girls. At big family get togethers...they are the last ones to finish eating. And if they don't like something they don't eat it off of their plate. (huh?).

It says a lot about my current habits. When there is something really tasty (pizza, fries, etc) I'm usually eating my first portion...eyeballing the rest.

Ok. that's all :-).

Still believe that 3 lbs of bacon is a perfectly healthy amount though. it's so salty-delicious!

Oh sweet #6

What the hell is it about beer, that makes me incapable of gauging how full I am? And what is it about pizza that makes it so easy to eat 10 times as much as you need?

Sat night we had such a good time. went to see the Arch Rival Roller Girls (ARRG) roller derby bout against Fort Wayne, Indiana (the bombers or something). and had 2 beers, mini-corn dogs for dinner, then pop corn, and a soda (I was hungry. Swear). then my friend was hungry (friends don't let friends hit "E"...especially when they weigh 99 lbs soaking wet). and i proceeded to polish off half of an undercooked pizza.

I'm not proud. nor did i feel full. until i woke up this morning with a belly ache from all the dough, cheese, and such.

Today was similar. grazing and eating too much at a family party. going to have to work on not sitting right by the deer sausage...

I haven't hit "F" yet. I have managed to keep it at a decent level 6 (Scale is 0-1 ready to eat...2,3,4 how you feel when you are eating and getting full. 5-6 is when you should stop....don't hit F and don't hit E.)

Perfect Weight, Chapter 2 for Danielle

Chapter 2 is about discovering your Ayurvedic (traditional Indian science of health) body type. Concept: successful weight control programs should be designed to meet your individual needs.

There are three doshas that make up Ayurvedic body types - Vata, Pitta, and Kapha. This chapter gives a quiz for you to determine your body type. My type is Pitta. Pitta's basic function coverns bodily functions concerned with heat and metabolism. While this is my dominant dosha, I can see how I definitely possess a portion of all three. (My next highest score was for the Vata type, followed closely by Kapha.)

I found the characteristics of the Pitta type totally fascinating. Of course I can see myself in some that totally stand out: tendency to become angry or irritable under stress, fair skin w/freckles, aversion to sun/hot weather and (of course) sharp intelect. I do tend to take command of a situation or, often, feel that I should. I also can see how I'm too demanding, sarcastic and critical at times.

This chapter was interesting. Mostly the information is prep for the following chapters. If you know what your body type is, you can get in touch with your innter intelligence. I have already read the next few chapters, so I can see how this all comes into play for laying out the ground work for my "perfect weight."

I've continued to eat when hungry today. I even made sure to stop at 6 on my hunger level meter during dinner. I was tempted to finish...and tempted to finish Ryleigh's. But I was good. The child and I did share a skim milk/strawberry/banana shake after going to the grocery store. I didn't put much thought into if I was hungry for that.

Of all the stuff I've heard lately about weight loss (and I do belong to two weight loss groups!), this all seems very logical. As I've ready ahead, I can see how it is all very logical. But lots of things make more sense when someone actually spells it out for you. I'm eager to continue on to see what makes sense for my dominate body type.

Perfect Weight, Chapter 1 for Danielle

First, I want to thank Kristy for the wonderful idea to read this book together. She's motivated me so much this year! I was doing yoga (because I was thinking "WWKD?") and saw a mention of this book in the back of the DVD materials...which I'm sure I was ready to kill time and avoid actually doing the yoga poses. Anyway...

I love how the book starts with this sentence in the intro:
"Your ideal weight, therefore, cannot be expressed as a three-digit number on a chart mass-produced by an insurance company."

What an idea! Deepak totally won be over by telling me that mmy perfect weight is subjective and that I am the sole person who can determine what it is - AND - only my opinion is the only one that truly matters. Heck, this is all on the first page. I read this while sitting in Starbucks drive thru waiting for the drink I'm sure I didn't really want any way.

I like Deepak's simplification ideas. After spending the day with a child who keeps saying "watch the attitude, Mommy" ~ simple is something I really, really NEED!!!

Since I've totally sucked at the WW@W attempt and am out way too much moola, I am eager to get started on this "eat when you are hungry" concept. It just sounds so logical. I've already stopped myself several times today from eating just to eat. I almost ran to Starbucks because the child was driving me insane, and I thought I deserved a treat. I was going to grab a brownie, because I'm tired/bored/sleepy and made myself a glass of water instead. Hmmm...very interesting! I can see why the WW@W isn't working...I hate to be told what to do. I don't care if it makes all the sense in the world...nobody is the boss of me (other than my boss ~ for the sake of keeping my income). I have to watch carefully for F and E. I seem to hit both with not much in the middle.

I read Chapter 2 at the park today, but need to take the quizes and such. I have a nap planned, so it may be another day before I get that far. Napping helps me not eat. And, just maybe, it will help with that attitude issue I seem to have today. HA!

Perfect Weight, Chapter 1 for Kristy

Danielle and I are reading "Perfect Weight" by Deepak Chopra.

So i finished Chapter 1 last night, and true to form, Deepak is making me feel pretty good about myself even though I'm overweight. There are several thought provoking questions at the end of the chapter...all focused on "Are you losing weight becuase it's something you need to do for yourself?"
Not to fit in. Not to be like models, not to look like Scarlett Johansenn. not to fit into your high school prom dress.

You are doing it to be true to yourself. I like that.

The first "exercise" he gives is to only eat when you are hungry for 2 weeks....so i'm giving that a try right now...
Eat only when your body signals that you are "empty" and ready to eat. While not a novel concept, it is harder than it seems.
And when you think you are hungry...you put your hand on your stomach to focus your attention there. breathe in and out and see if you are truly feeling hungry. Do it no matter the time of day.

Two feelings to avoid: rated: F: which is OVERFULL like after a thanksgiving dinner
and E: so empty that you are ravenous.

So far (1 meal in) i'm doing well..and am hungry and ready for meal #2.

he asks that you try it out for 2 weeks...so your body can reset itself and you get reacquainted with your hunger.

My progress....since last time

So...I declared it "get clean week"... Nix the extreme diet plans (oops. forgot had to go to mom and dad's, and Kyle @ work's bday) and i didn't get more than 1 day of strength training in...

But I did do something i haven't managed to do in a couple of years, and that is get in some sort of cardio every day. Rock on. Two swims this week, 3 walks, and 1 good yoga session in the park on Monday morning @ 6:30. I freakin' rock...

(And all those other resolutions were a smoke screen...haha).

The Healthcare debate, Deepak says Prevention!

Couple of very interesting points..including...

With all the early detection and advanced treatments, a cancer patient today is by no means guaranteed to live longer than a cancer patient in our grandparents' generation.

http://www.intent.com/deepakchopra/blog/whats-worse-health-care-or-cancer

The majority of medical costs go to treating three conditions: obesity, diabetes, and heart disease. As this society grows fatter, older, and less likely to exercise regularly, all three will rise, and yet sensible prevention would go a long way to halt or reverse that trend.

Er, so i think this is the polite Indian way of saying "Start moving, and eat better!!".

Greens , Ginger, and detoxing again

My new favorite food is greens. Along with Bananas they are now a staple on my grocery list. All i have to do is saute up onions, garlic, add tomatos' then wilt the greens in the pan. Yum yum delicious.

My current favorite thing to do with this is to pour it over boiled potatos.

Next I think i'm going to eat it as a side with...just about ANYTHING. YUM.

So this week, I'm going to focus again. I have gained back any weight I lost earlier on this year (2-3 lbs). Plus I've been going back and forth into my bad habits of eating way too much and sitting in front of the tv.

so this week, I'm focusing...

• Detox diet for 7 days: No sugar, no meat, no alcohol. fruits and veggies for snacks, no White starchie carbs (except Potatos. I don't believe in the white potato freakout).
• Lots of Ginger tea. Deepak says overweight people have an excess of Kapha (mucus, heavy feelings etc.) and that Ginger tea helps to move kapha along.
• To bed early, out of bed early to do...
  
• Daily cardio, and walking my dog twice a day (the second one is to deal with guilt).
  
• 3-5 days of strength training via weights, yoga, or isometric exercises. I'm playing with this...more on that this week.
• Giving up TV. I've sunk back into a habit of watching videos at night for 2-3 hours @ a time. YIKES! So i'm going to take them out of the equation.
• Attempt to meditate daily...the lack of Video's should help.
• maybe quit biting my nails again. we'll see how this goes!
  

Ultimate Sunday debate

Do i make English Muffin pizzas in the toaster oven, or dine al fresco at my local neighborhood tavern and get a thin crust STL style??

Hmmm. I think the walk and a beer would do me good. Wish i had some company though.

This has been a gorgeous day, but one of the loneliest I've had in a while. I spent the day reorganizing my tupperware cabinet (boring - yes, necessary...also yes).

I have been treating myself all week long though...Ice Cream at least 3 nights, last night was a taco bell run, then cheese and crackers @ 1 AM. (damn beers. Have 3 lousy beers and all of a sudden i'm an eating machine!).

Deepak says that you should eat two handfuls of food, and then see if you are still hungry. if you are eat a bit more. this will help you to be more conscoius of your food, and not to deny yourself.

He also says to drink a LOT of ginger tea.
That's all. i'm hungry now...more to come!

Meditation for Weight loss

So...i'm still in love with Deepak's book..."Perfect Health".

something beautiful (get your barf bag out, Danielle :-).

He has an entire chapter on Freedom from Addictions, and in that chapter he addresses the use of meditation to treat them.
Some addictions are a way to "treat" ourselves and/or medicate ourselves from misery and pain. We use the cigarettes, alcohol to provide some kind of relief and then continually turn to them.
When using meditation, most addictions/self abuse problems just "fall away" because they are consistently connecting to their own source of calm, serenity, and joy.

By reconnecting to your personal center of joy, you shift your outlook and lose the "need" to use a drug, drink, or food to make your world brighter...the meditation automatically makes the world a brighter place.

My major addictions were nicotine, caffeine, and still food. When i'm tired, agitated, or emotional i turn to food and television to help ease myself out of my funk. Heavy food helps to drown out the anxiety i often feel in the pit of my stomach, and tv turns my worry away from myself and to other people's problems.

And he's definitely right! When i quit smoking, i started life. I started doing yoga, playing volleyball and softball regularly and really connecting with the world in a new way.

Trying meditation is not hard. It's as simple as breathing and sitting still. Let me know if you want to try it!

On being 34

Danielle's post inspired me to think about what I should be working on...

In talking with a friend last night (thanks Gina!) the questions she asked last night were:

What do you think was the highlight of the last year?
Without a doubt this would be my job. I've entered a really nice phase of my career, where I'm doing something I really enjoy. It's just enough of a challenge to keep me on my toes, and all the big "problems" that arise are fun ones.

What do you most regret about the last year?
That I haven't gotten further with the yoga teaching that I really enjoy doing.

So today I'm spending some time planning out what I want to do over the next year.
I mean, 40 is only 6 years away. My 30's need to be good ;-)

Happy Birthday to Kristy

Happy Birthday, Kristy!

There is a lot to be said about turning 34...none of it good, of course (just kidding!). I think being 34 has made me really start thinking about the future. There is something about turning 35 next year that just freaks me out. I won't be able to pretend I'm young and (as) ignorant any more. Of course, I type that as I'm pretending I'm a baby so my daughter will feed me pretend pancakes and cookies.

Kristy's Painful Cheeks

The fact I exercised earned me the right to post. Kristy inspired me to lunge while watching the news...lunge while walking back from putting some towels away...lunge on my way past the dryer. I've never appreciated the lunge before. But I do admit, this was kind of a nice feeling. Maybe I'll try it again tomorrow. If I stop sweating.

I've started another 12 weeks of WW@W today. I lost a whole pound last 12 weeks. I'm still in the interested vs. committed phase. However, I'm planning on changing that this 12 weeks. There is my health at stake and a $250 gift card for the biggest loser (percentage of weight loss). I like money. And I like life, too. We are almost a diaperless family...exciting times!

Painful cheeks

Twice a week, i make myself do lunges....this is an exercise in which one stands with feet together, then steps about 3-4 feet forward and brings the back knee to just within a few inches of hitting the floor. then one curses and stands back up, repeating the process on the other leg.

I absolutely love this exercise for two reasons.
1- whenever i do it, someone in the gym will go..."Gonna be sore tomorrow!" or "Oh those are really a killer". Meaning I'm tough. I do two sets of 15 now, each time

2- they seem to re-align my knees and hips and strengthen them up.

I hate them for one reason. My hips are deeply sore for 2-3 days following each exertion.

that's all :-).

More Deepak is awesome

Mind-Body...we all hear this when we look into Yoga or Pilates classes, right? "Develop your mind-boyd awareness" or "Explore the mind-body connection".

It's soo simple, when you think about it. Specific exercises that alternately soothe and challenge different areas of the body, while you focus your mind to these experiences.

Experienced yoga teachers know to combine specific exercises to enhance/combat effects of the external environment, and bring their students to "center" which is really a way of saying bringing them back into balance from stresses of life such as emotional happenings, daily stress, physical stress, overeating, etc.

With time and enough awareness to your body and mind, you can start to view life in a more objective way and actually choose your reactions (mental and emotional) to different situations in life.
Cultivating the ability to choose your reactions to life situations will lessen the stress on your body and health...

How to cultivate?
Via the right diet (for you), good mental stimulation and relaxation, meditation, and proper exercise.

Woot!

I ate a quesadilla on Friday

And something in the combination of cheesy happiness and the heat wave caused it to be a painful proposition.
I spent the whole night burping and feeling a nasty burning sensation in my tummy. damn the quesadilla.

I did, however get time to read some more of the Deepak Chopra book, "Perfect Health".
DEEPAK ROCKS.

He explains the Ayurvedic system of doshas, and that if you are in touch with your "home base" you can avert and/or ward off most unpleasant physical problems through diet, exercise, yoga, meditation and herbs.

Morgan Spurlock's girlfriend says that i need to be very careful of all non-organic food.

up again, down again

I'm pretty well set on not eating sugar and refined carbs...and that's going pretty well. no seriously. I'm resisting the candy kisses on the desks, not eating bread yada yada. I'm kind of used to it (for 2 days :-).

But i weighted myself and I'm up 2 lbs. ..Guess the beer and fried chicken this weekend did it to me ....

I'm not completely depressed, because it was an awesome weekend, and...hey, i'm just gearing up my workouts...but it does make me a little sad.

Ok that's my note for the day. Beer + Fried Chicken and stuffing and such increases weight gain :-).

My rant and plea against artificial sweeteners.

My frustration with this has been building for a while. And while I will continue to refrain (mostly. sorry, Murphy) from maligning your soft drinks in front of you, i've got to say something.

When on earth did we decide that aspartame, NutraSweet, Splenda, Sweet n' Low, and a bevy of other shitty products were tasty, delicious, and something we wanted to put in our mouths 2-20 times per day?

Everyone i know drinks Diet soda, and they don't just have one. At work I see people keep a bottle of diet coke next to their desks all day. In the Cult of Diet Coke a woman states that she drinks her first D.C of the day in the shower. She would drink 10-15 a day if she could...another woman said that when she dines, if the restaurant doesn't have Diet Coke, she drinks water, but then crosses that place off of her list of acceptable places to go.

I used to drink at least 5 diet sodas in any given meal in a restaurant. I have a friend, whom I won't name, who once almost walked out of a very nice restaurant because they served their Diet Cokes one can at a time. No Free Refills...she was very upset, and it was going to mess up her whole day.

To me it's enough objective proof, at least, that diet soda is an addictive substance. I define those as anything that you feel you need to ingest, but gain nothing nutrition-wise from taking it in. Sugar is on that list too...along with white carbs...yum..er, i mean ADDICTIVE SUBSTANCE!.

I invite you to take a test. Sit down somewhere quiet. Taste diet soda a like you would wine. It tastes sweet at first, but then there's a bitter part to it, and it tastes metallic.

Gross.

New books.

I'm working on understanding where my line is.
Whenever I eat vegetarian for more than a couple of days, I get extreme chapped lips, and twice now i've had puffy, scratchy eyelids breakout.

But when i don't focus that heavily on what I'm eating, i slide into the other direction completely. I eat lots of crappy food, and I feel heavy and gross most of the time.

I know there's an in between, and i'm determined to find it! I went to the library and took out a couple of books (in addition to the Guts and Glory thing I bought)

Here's what I got:

• Perfect Health by Deepak Chopra - this is the one I'm most excited about. Deepak talks about how to bring the mind and body together, and explains Ayurvedic techniques. He's very good at explaining his systems that combine eastern and western medicine.
• The Great American Detox Diet - Remember "Super Size Me" ? Remember the super vegan chef girlfriend who designed a diet for Morgan Spurlock to come back to health? Well gosh darned if she didn't write a book about it! This book will plunk me back into uncomfortable Alternative Health land...and the place where I have to decipher what's real for myself. The good thing is, Alex (you know, Morgan's Girlfriend) seems to have a very sweet way of writing.
  
• 15-Minute Vegetarian- Dammit. I'm going to learn how to make this food so that I don't wind up with crusty dried skin all over my face and STILL feel light and happy when I'm done eating (as opposed to heavy and like a rock is in my stomach).

I'll let you know how they turn out!!

Change

I needed a change tonight...seemed like Kristy and I may have been having some commitment issues since we have had the blog for six months and had not changed the look or named.

I'm in a reflective mood. My baby (my only) turns THREE tomorrow. Not only does that make me sad for sentimental reasons (she's growing soooo fast!), but it makes me think of lots of other things:

1. Wow, I've really put on a lot of weight over these three years.
2. My goodness I would kill to even fit into my maternity pants!
3. In eight weeks, I'll have been at my job for three years.
4. I haven't bought a new pair of underwear in three years - oh my!

That's kinda sad that I miss bras and underwear...but I have this thing about buying them at "my size." I would rather sew/staple/tape them back together. Whatever! I still enjoy buying other clothes. It's the wearing them that depresses me.

So ~ what to do, what to do? Obviously nobody here is getting younger. Although Ryls did tell me tonight that I was too little to give blood...sweet, innocent child. Do I commit? Do I stay miserable and never buy another pair of underwear again? Only time will tell. Sounds evasive, yes -- it's the daughter's b-day tomorrow. I have to help eat the candy from the pinata (hey, it's the only thing she asked for!!!)...then I'll think harder.

Yes, yes -- I definitely have a commitment issue. However, I'm pretty sure I'm close to getting back on track. After all, my baby (my only!) is (nearly) three. If I'm going to have another, I really need to focus and get in gear. I would like to think great things happen while I'm lounging on the couch...but that doesn't seem to be the case.

(I don't know where the whole job thing came into this...except I blame my job for making me fat. And, there's me eating too much and exercising too little...details, details.)

Alternative Health...and Oprah.

Stumbled upon this article today. Awesome! Who's right? Who's wrong?

A scientist details how upset he is with Oprah's messages regarding alternative health therapy.
Fascinating!

Btw. I haven't had any sugar or refined carbs today. Sigh...i mean...I'm LIGHT as a feather. :-)

What to eat?

I love and I hate Alternative Health (AH).
On the plus side, the world of AH provides answers to dietary medical problems and muscular medical problems that Medical Doctors, traditional nutritionists, and your average personal trainer cannot provide. Things like:

• Crohn's disease
• Irritable Bowel Syndrome
• Chronic Fatigue
  

But because AH practitioners are on the fringe of the medical world, and are largely unregulated they are scary. Add to that the distrust from traditional medical doctors and the zealot like followings for diets like Atkins, herbal remedies, strange cayenne pepper diets ...and frankly it all looks like a lot of bullshit...and requires some shrewd studying to determine how to proceed.

So as I've been thinking about this Candida experiment, I decided to visit my local health food store and get information.
The lady there recommended a $20 cure that I can take for 30 days...much like the lovely Asian woman I talked to a couple of weeks ago.
She also recommended acidophilus for my unhappy tummies. I decided to take a pass on all that for now, use up my $28-30 day remedy first...THEN see about her stuff.

Instead I bought a book called "Restoring your Digestive Health".
Imagine my sadness and surprise when I opened it to find a program called..."Guts and Glory".

Tomorrow I go with safe, and eat lovely brown rice and whatever doesn't turn my stomach. and I'm going off of liquor and tv all week...until i know what it takes to get "Guts AND Glory".

Awe Sugar...Awe honey honey.

I'm having such a hard time believing that any of this working out will help me lose weight.
This week has continued my run as the candy-crazed woman @ work who cannot pass the candy dish w/o helping myself.

And once again, i am eating food that makes my stomach hurt.

I've also been toying with yet another new diet to snap me out of my bad habits. this one is the Candida diet.

According to an Asian woman who runs O.R. Smoothies in the Central West End, she can see AND feel that I very likely have systemic Candida which makes it hard to lose weight, increases likelihood of yeast infections, and slows a person down. Which is a problem that natural health practitioners feel 80% of the population has, and 100% of traditional MDs will not treat.

And I love natural practitioners. There's just enough truth in each suggestion they make to make me believe...and is a solution is less than $50, and involves mostly a change in habits, I'm sold.

"The yeast crave the sugar...make you eat more. This kill the yeast, make you slim and beautiful.".

Ah well, we'll try it for 7 days and see what happens. 7 days never killed anybody. I did almost diet that time I tried a 1700 calorie diet for 7 days though...i let you's know when i decide to do it and what happens.

Website for logging workouts

complete with weight training routines that could keep it interesting...

http://www.fitlink.com

Gaining back 35 lbs after a 100lb wt loss

Gaining back weight sucks. This is a great blogger, who wrote a book called "Half-Assed". all about her journey to lose 100+ lbs.

http://pastaqueen.com/halfofme/archives/2009/05/so_about_my_weight.html


She has gained some weight back. I really like the way she talks about it here....

"The Hardest to Learn is the least complicated" - The Indigo Girls

I like introspection...here's some more.

For 21 years I've been dieting, thinking about losing weight, and lamenting my physique.

21 years. That's a lot of practice. And most of that time i didn't really do anything...except drink skim milk instead of whole, drink diet soda instead of regular, eat NO fat, then I ate more protein, etc. etc.

It wasn't until about 5-6 years ago that i decided to drop the habit of "weight loss thinking".

The main thinking can be boiled around to three basic statements that can revolve in my head at time.

1. "Oh i better get around to losing weight."
   
2. "I'll finally be able to rest and be happy if i get skinny."
3. "I can't believe anyone could love someone whose legs/stomach/arms/face is so fat"
   

Part of me is waiting to live my life because I don't feel that being who i am in my body is enough to make my life fulfilling.

So way back when, I deicded to quit the 21 years of bad thinking.
I quit worrying about fat grams, calories, minutes spent in the gym, heart rates. All of these things were stressing me out and would cause the loop of those 3 thoughts and a lot of depression and anxiety to start again and again.

Here's what I started DOING that helped stop the THINKING about doing..;-)

• Dropping all the "Food rules" while I figure out what exercising will do for me. It takes the pressure off and lets the mind just rest and ENJOY FOOD. A funny thing also happens...exercise changed the food I chose.
• Playing sports. I love to play sports...i never really understood this until a few years back. Volleyball, softball, and soccer for a short while helped me to socialize without the bar ;-) (or less bar!)
  
• doing yoga. stretching and strengthening...
• Discovered that I LOVE to dance to bands with funky and awesome beats. And trhough other friends i learned that anyone can dance ;-)
  
• Trying ANYTHING. Rock climbing was fun...couldn't make it stick, running felt good, but is too hard on my knees and hips while I'm over 170 lbs, swimming has turned out to be the perfect exercise for ME.
• Stopped watching so much tv. TV tends to tell us stories that we take into our life that are not useful (See my tiny rant about Nutrasweet below..)
• Realize that exercising is great and sweating feels good.
  
• Eating things that taste good...only. Seriously, how did we all convince ourselves that NUTRASWEET is TASTY? IT IS DISGUSTING.
  
• Taste testing new foods. Eggplant. Different types of mushrooms...Fruit salads (pineapple plus anything equal tasty!).. Tofu, not so much for me.
• Remind myself how great myself is. This body is slamming. It can swim, run when chased, do a full back bend
  
• Remember that loving myself as I am is my first job if I'm going to love anyone else.

When i day dream about the perfectness of my body at a size 10 (oh sweet jeans), I just accept it as a possibility...then look down at my chubby tummy and thighs and say "I Love You."

When in doubt about how great I am, I listen to the Indigo Girls.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYcGcT-FMHc

WW@W Weeks 3 and 4

Week 3: Lost 3ish pounds. Considering what I gained the week before, this wasn't so bad. I think I'm still ahead when it comes to losing weight. My tracker thing is around here somewhere. :)

Week 4: I was in a 3.25 hour training class so I didn't get to weigh in. This was good. It was a very bad week to weigh...I was emotional and extremely hungry. I'm guessing that this week is why I've been so hungry all week. Hungry for something that is not here, of course. And apparently hungry for the Pepperidge Farms cookies I bought at the store on Monday.

I'm still interested in losing weight. Apparently I'm still working on that commitment thing. I did so great that first WW@W week when I wrote everything down. Novel idea, I know.

So, we'll see how week 5 goes this week. I am enjoying meeting during the day instead of meeting at night. It is so much more convenient. I have a MAJOR work project this month, so I will have to remain committed to going to the meetings during this stressful time.

Well, I'm bored and must go move a bit before I settle in to read a book. God bless nap time!

Eat like a New Orleanian

I cannot say that I've been an enlightened individual for the last week...I've only worked out once for maybe 15 min. I did a couple of short swims...and I walked all over New Orleans every day.
So i can say that i've worked a bit.

In working on a "Samkalpa" or a goal for the next 6-18 months i had to have specific statements that describe how I will feel once i reach my goal. Any time i catch myself going to bite my nails, I try to feel content, then repeat my "Samkalpa"

It sounds like this...

"I'm so relieved"
Once i reach this 20 year goal to lose enough weight to be under 172 lbs, my major feeling will be relief. I've been carrying this with me since i was 12, for whatever reason.

"I've lost 20 lbs".
When I say this to myself, i feel the excitement...and try to feel light...and imagine what my body might look like 20 lbs lighter.

"My joints are healthy and strong.".
One of the biggest problems i have is that I often have achey joints. they get overstretched and sometimes just underworked so they start to ache. weird, huh?

"I'm able to eat what I want and be satisfied."
This brings me to my trip. Lawdy. Did I eat good down in New Orleans, LA (NOLA). I had doube chocolate bread pudding. I had red beans and rice....Blackened ANYTHING Shrimp, alligator, Red Fish. Fried Oysters...Fried Oysters stuffed into crunchy, flaky bread.
Oh and the Beignets @ Cafe Du Monde are seriously something that I will ALWAYS remember. And when you order milk there it's either White or Chocolate...NO skim. :-) (Indian Ayurvedics believe that Milk fat is essential to good health.

How does this help me lose weight? Hmmm...well i have several things I could rant about...but very little time.

Food is one of the most delicious and fantastic parts of life. Eating the right food can actually conjure feelings.
It can also dampen them when you feel unwell...like a crack addict we turn to it again and again to avoid feelings. Alcholics have the same problem, as do smokers.

So I guess my upshot is...Eat like a New Orleanian when you can. Walk lots, and eat what you WANT!
The problem is when you're not eating because you want something, but are eating to feed some other part of you.

Figuring that out is taking me a lifetime.

How long do you have?

We were checking out at the grocery store this evening...chatting about how old Ryleigh is, how cute she is, how big she is...and while we were waiting for the debit card to process, the cashier asked, "how long do you have?"

My reponse: "How long for what?"

Her response: stares at my face...then asks again "How long do you have?"

My response: "How long for what?"

At this time I was trying to think of things that we were waiting for. Since we just discussed how old the child was, I thought maybe she wanted to know when she would turn 3. I thought maybe she wanted to know how long the transaction would take...all kinds of thoughts.

Then she said: "Never mind." And repeated "I'm sorry" several times.

Duh! Now it seems obvious about what she was asking. She wanted to know how long I've had my breast implants. I do have fabulous boobs but they are natural. End of story!

(Okay, that last part was my little fantasy. I know now what she was asking and drowned my deep depression by eating chocolate chip cookies for dinner - because "the baby" really wanted them. I hate, hate, hate when people do that. And to make matters worse, my husband said "did she ask if you were having a baby?" when we got to the car. Yes, dear. Yes she did. Now, the baby wants some chocolate chip cookies...how long can you finish the first batch???)

WW@W - Week 2

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(Okay, fine, I'll write a little something ~ I did not track anything after I got mad at myself for blowing so many points on Mexican last Tuesday. Big, big mistake. I did not gain back all that I lost during week 1...but it was do darn close! Oh well. I will get back on it this week and report back next.)

I lost 2 lbs...

Let's see...that makes a grand total of 7 ish lbs in 4 months...hmmm :-).
I'm happy!! But if I'm going to lose 20 by Sept, i'm going to need to kick it up a notch...

I have several options/ways to go...

• Train with a trainer once a month...some friends have recommended a great one.
• Start a SURFING workout in preparation for my trip to Hawaii in October
• Go veg at least 5-6 days per week
• Quit drinking again for at least 30 days.
• Do a long yoga session 3-4 days per week.
  

I'm super excited to get going! I'll be in New Orleans for work until next week..then i'll try and start ramping up!
I have a friend who has been busting her butt (literally) for a year now with a trainer, and her abs are like a washboard, and she is ripped everywhere!!

She's my new inspiration!!

WW@W - Week 1

I lost 3.8 lbs this week. That's the biggest loss I've had in years. I've really learned lots about portion control and my previous lack of it. Not much to post...I kinda fell off the wagon tonight thanks to a friend treating me to Mexican (in exchange for algebra tutoring). I'm going to assume I burnt some calories doing all those math problems. And work out double hard tomorrow. Assuming it makes it out of the 30s by the time I get home from work. Otherwise, I'll work hard on Friday ~ a vacation day!

Short and sweet update. I just wanted to celebrate my small success. Let's see how week 2 goes!

A New Habit, and A TRIP!

So i've settled into not biting my nails nicely, but it's only Day 31. So i decided to tackle a bigger, nastier Non-constructive habit.

I'm going to stop doing distracting things while eating...Reading books, checking facebook, putting in a movie...
Now i'm just going to eat, and enjoy my food.

Wish me luck!!


Point #2. I'm likely heading to HAWAII in October. I was invited to go along with some friends who have a great deal on lodging. kind of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

So I'm going to change up my weight routine soon to start training for SURFING. I plan on learning the basics of surfing while down there...who knows, it might be the start of a potential career as a surfing and yoga teacher?
:-).

WW@W

We started Weight Watchers @ Work today...yay. I was dreading it and worried, but now that I'm home and have eaten my points for the day ~ I'm excited! I was proud to be under my points, but the leader told us today to make sure we eat our full points. So I was able to have a snack before bed. Of course, now I must go right to bed to make sure I don't have another snack. I don't usually eat after dinner, but that does not mean I won't start today.

Nothing too exciting but this is the most committed I've felt in a long, long time. While I've been a member of TOPS for almost 7 years, it is much different to go to a meeting during the day and living it with people you spend your entire freaking day with. Support is so important in both groups, so I'm happy to attend TOPS and WW@W...something has to click in my brain thanks to these great groups.

I used to work for Weight Watchers during one college summer...at the customer service call center in KS. True story:

Me: Thank you for calling WW...how may I help you?
Dude: I need to know more about WW. I'm anorexic.
Me: I'm sorry sir. I cannot recommend a meeting to you due to your condition.
Dude: Are you kidding me? I have a fat ass. I'm just kidding you.

Oh, crazy summer days. Cheers!

It's not a nail biter!

I had to develop a goal that I could accomplish in 6-18 months. I chose to lose 20 lbs.
Putting that in writing scares and tires me...and the goal had to be very specific and written in present tense in order to make it more real.

"I've lost 20 lbs, and my joints are pain free, and I am very physically fit! I no longer eat out of sadness, boredom, or loneliness. I can eat what I want and be satisfied."

No small feat, and putting it into words is very helpful.

Another aspect of this is to give up a non-constructive habit. Of which I have several ...hundred. :-).
I'm giving up nail chewing. I've done it ever since I can remember (probably since teeth!).

Whenever I realize I'm about the nibble on a nail, I do the following...

1. Pause
2. Feel Contentment (takes time sometimes ), know that I hold everything I need within me.
   
3. Remember my goal, say it, and visualize it.
4. Give Thanks (to whomever i like.)

Then do this for 40 days.
We are on day 38.
So far so good :-)

A quote! George Bernard Shaw!

We got this quote a couple of days ago. Kind of interesting.. and a little Denis Leary-ish...remember that most yoga traditions operate under the belief that each person carries God or the "Almighty" within him or her, and you can see how we got this one from our teacher...

"This is the true joy in life: Being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one, being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it what I can. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations."

Day Four, lots of fulfilling

So in the last 4 days I've done yoga and meditation around my "Mission Statement" or Dharma Code. All the yoga and meditation has centered on figuring this out.

Here's the fun part. This isn't just what I want to do for a job, or whatever. It's the mission of my soul here on earth. and I probably don't have it exactly right after working on it for a day or two, but here's what I came up with...

"To communicate to other people connections that exist between seemingly different things (they could be people, ideas, places, things"

I love love love finding out two very different things are actually related, if it's two different types of people, I'm overjoyed.

I also have begun working with community marketing at work, so that helps to show some connections.

So my mission statement is set and ready to go! More soon on other good stuff.

The Yoga of Fulfillment

So I'm getting ready to head out the door for Day 2 (of 5) of my annual Yoga-cation.
I'm studying under a system called Para-Yoga taught by Yogarupa Rod Stryker. We spend 5 days learning the teachings that have been handed down to the Yogarupa by descendents of Swami Rama. (for real. This is the coolest thing ever.).

The goal for this intensive is to learn how to take the peace that you create on your yoga mat, and bring it with you into your corporate office, family dinner, attempts at weight loss, or anywhere that you need peace.

I'll try to bring you a couple of great quotes. I thought I had some, but i can't find them!

On the physical side.. the poses we did yesterday has affect muscles i didn't know existed in my hips. Lots of emphasis on twisting.

Day 1 again. And again.

Sorry to steal your title, Kristy! But it fits what I'm feeling. This week's motivation is coming from wanting to have a baby, this skinny lady I just saw on House Hunters (and her hot Italian husband), more clothes choices, and just not wanting to feel blah any more.

I've been thinking a lot about all the goals that Kristy has set. I have one in mind for myself...30 minutes of activity a day. I'm perpetually late...I hardly get to work on time, pick the child up after work, cook dinner, bathe the child/put child to bed...and then, I'm freaking tired. Either FB calls to me, or I sit in bed and read/watch TV. I would like to start taking walks. And if I don't take a walk that day, then I need to do something else active - laundry, cleaning something, or just shaking my booty to my Zune tunes. Anything!

One day last week I set my alarm to wake up and walk before work. After 34 years, there is nothing that is going to make me a morning person. I snoozed my alarm for at least another hour that day ~ then I was late.

I've thought about walking at work. There is a great pond across the street with a trail around it. However, I'm a sweater. And my feet are stinky. Plus I hear the geese attack you.

Next up, I'm thinking about walking after work. Unfortunately, Curious George is on. If you have a two year old the thrives on routine...then I've said enough. And baby bed time is typically a non-negotiable item.

I'll try this whole activity again this coming week. I will also report on my second goal: to eat less when going out. I always eat too much. I need to really listen to myself and order just what I need. Seems simple. It's hard to get the brain, belly, and mouth to all work together sometimes.

We're supposed to be starting Weight Watchers at Work (at work). I've joined three times already and even worked in their customer service call center one summer. But I need something to get my brain going again...maybe this will work. We'll see.

Happy Weekend!

Day 1 again.

So good intentions, road to hell...etc. etc.
I haven't been so good with my diet this week..i had two days that were spot on, and it was pretty much downhill from there.

So much like I did when quitting smoking, we begin again. Tomorrow is Day 1!

I'm making the timeline until I leave for New Orleans on April 16th...when, as you know, all bets are off for a while :-).
So I have 32 days to work with eating well and exercising regularly.
Woot!

It's already March?

Unlike Kristy, I have no plan right at the moment. I find her details about detox and all that good stuff very inspiring. I'm pretty sure I would starve to death. Sugar is my friend. You can't effectively bribe a two year old without it!!! Stickers go only so far...

Seems like soooooo long ago when Kristy and I got together, talked about the blog, and decided to start over. The good news: I'm almost inspired again. The bad news: I'm easily bored. Every few years I want to radically change everything about my life to keep life exciting. The problem is that I'm just too exhausted after a stressful job and a child in (dirty) diapers. Yes, that's an excuse, but one that I find incredibly valid. Since my child is three times the size of other two year olds, I find her three times as exhausting (and I'm sticking with that story!).

My current inspiration: the hubby and I have talked about having another baby! I was pretty excited earlier in the week about the prospect of having another child. Then I realized how many hours I would have to stay awake day/night to take care of a newborn. If there is one thing I like more than eating, it is sleeping. And I've been blessed with a child who loves to sleep. What if the second one isn't like that??? The advantage is that I'm already eating for two (or three!). Ha! Just kidding...

Okay, I wrote this post out of guilt for neglecting my blogging duties. There really is no point. I'm fat. I'm tired. And...I'm thinking about being committed...to weight loss. Soon. Very soon.

Decadence

It's no secret that I not only love food...I absolutely Adore it.
I sit and think about new combinations and spices for old recipes...a couple of my co-workers and I sit around and think of ways to make bbq pork EVEN tastier. As I drive home from work I plan 1-2 meals to take care of my hunger.

This takes up a lot of mental space for me and makes me very happy. Ahhh.

So it's Time for another DETOX!! :-). I've successfully completed 2 rounds of "detox dieting" so far...and since it's very gentle and VERY healthy, I've doing 3 weeks this time around with 2-3 well planned and executed decadence-splurges to get me through (strawberry margaritas....ooh...no the homemade margaritas down @ Chimichanga's...).

We'll take one week off of dieting for good behavior, then do another 3 weeks.. (then go to New Orleans...which will be it's own post.)

Since the timeline is longer than just 9 days...I'm going to loosen the restrictions...

So the normal detox diet I was following called for eliminating foods. the Don'ts are...

• White anything...rice, potato's, sugar etc.
• heavy fats. only use olive oil sparingly, no p'nut butter, regular butter
• no dried fruits...too much sugar.
• Nothing fried
• No meat.
• no bread
  

The Do's

• Unlimited fruits and veggies
• Low fat cheese (1-2 oz max)
• 2 cups whole grains (brown rice, quinoa, whole wheat)
• limited white rice. (ya, i know what it says above...but only so many restaurants serve brown rice. And the beauty of this diet is that I can eat @ Asian restaurants).
• Lots of lentils, chickpeas, beans , tofu, etc. for Protein
• Some nuts
• 1 veggie patty per day (i LOVE these things now)
  

Seeing Results

Well, I've been exercising mostly regularly since before the holidays.

In January I began my diet overhaul...and this blog (Thanks Danielle for doing it with me).

And I'm starting to see some results. Today a friend at work informed me that she was confused. She feels that I look VERY skinny, and yet I tell her I have lost 5 lbs (god's honest truth!).

She is, of course, in sales. :-) But it is nice to hear. Everything feels better, I do feel lighter, clothes are looser and I am (mostly) making good food choices with the occasional indulgence. And rarely do I feel like a bloated whale. All of these were my immediate goals (i.e. feel better!!)

So I'm making some progress, which is good.

Now for that SMART goal. I decided to be blatantly vain about 1 goal...I'm going for the 2-piece swimming suit by August. (that gives me some time to work up the abs!).

M&Ms

I don't have anything inspirational right at the moment...just a funny story.

Ryleigh and I were hanging out inside her castle tonight and she had a little plate of magnetic letters. She told me they were not crackers...they were seeds. She carefully sat the letters down on the carpet going "seed, seed, seed." I asked, "are you planting broccoli?"

Ryleigh's answer: "No. I'm planting M&Ms."

The latest babysitter's assistant told me my tonight that my child is bossy and stubborn (no, she didn't use those words but it is a lecture I've heard more than once). She asked me if my husband liked to get his own way and said exactly what he was thinking. He's a man...so yes. But I'm pretty sure she gets that whole bossy thing from me. The assistant remarked, "Oh, well you and your daughter are meant to be leaders." Well, hell yeah! Who wouldn't want a smart leader who plants M&Ms instead of broccoli. Seriously!!!

Something to believe in...

So, I've been kind of winging this whole effort to see how well it goes. Now I need a longer-term plan.

I haven't had a good goal to work toward in a while. The thing about goals in this arena is that they're VERY tricky. A good goal has to be rewarding enough to get you through days where you want to just chuck it all and dive into the couch and a pizza.
It also has to measure just how far you have come and be attainable....Dear god, I hate to say this...but it has to be a SMART goal "Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Timely".

So i'm thinking hard on this today and tomorrow. I can't run a 5K or do a triathlon (sorry, Becca), here are some of the ideas floatin' around my head....

• Fitting into a size 12 comfortably for the first time in 12 years?
• Wearing a 2-piece to the family float trip?
• Walking 3 miles without hip pain?
• hiking the katy trail?
• Eating 2 slices of pizza and stopping...happy and full? (is that POSSIBLE?)
• Weighing less @ my 16 year high school class reunion than i did @ graduation?
• Ideas??

hmmm these are all good goals.. and a couple of them are possible sooner rather than later... i'm thinking....
What do you all think? I know Becca has ideas...

Team Kristy

I've had some issues with my health over the years...I've assembled what I like to believe is a crack team of health advisors.
Since it's very good to be on top of your own issues...it's good to have people that can help you through your issues...

Yoga Teachers
These lovely ladies and gents fall under my yoga and meditation help. They also help me to learn how to treat myself nicely and to develop my own instincts. Especially when I'm berating myself or treating myself terribly.

Doctor Heather
This is my general practitioner. I go see her for bad cases of the sniffles and such.

My Endocrinologist
I have a special place in my heart for my Endo. When I was in college, we learned that I had a pituitary tumor that was wreaking havoc with my metabolism...no matter how much I worked out, I gained weight. As soon as I started on medication, the extra weight came off, and my moods improved GREATLY. :-)

Dr. George
Currently several of my friends are using the services of a sports-medicine style of chirorpractor. He's fantastic. right now he's my #1 asset in my fitness world. He loosens up my injured areas, then gives me exercises that help to heal them.

I suggest you employ a similar team!

Back at it

I'm detoxing again for 9 more days. A friend of mine expressed interest in the Fat Smash and I obliged by telling her that detoxing is something that wouldn't hurt me in the least...especially since I've managed to consume a 10" pizza, a large bar cheeseburger, a quesadilla (love the chef @ work), and numerous other fatty things in the last week.

Another detox might be good for me...:-).

Mom

I'm sure not everyone is the same, but my mom can be my biggest supporter and also my worst enemy. She knows exactly what buttons to push and when.

Nothing in particular triggered this thought pattern. I was stuck in traffic for two hours tonight (about an hour and a half longer than usual), and I got to thinking back over some funny/frustrating times over the years.

Mom Story #1
When I had lost all my weight last time around (about 60 lbs), my mom called up one day and told me she found a great shirt for me at Sears. She just didn't know what size to buy. I promised to go try on clothes and report back. And I did.

Me: "Mom, I tried on a bunch of clothes. I wear a size 10."
Mom: "Ok, great, I'll buy you a size 12."

Mom Story #2
Same time period as Story #1...Mom and I are conversing after I went shopping at Old Navy.

Me: "I tried on a pair of 12 jeans, but they were too big. I'm definitely a size 10."
Mom: "Those jeans always run big."

Mom Story #3
Flash ahead to December 2008...those darn 60ish pounds are back on. Mom and I are chatting on my way home from work.

Me: "Did you make the appointment with the surgeon to have your hip replaced AND be checked for cancer?"
Mom: "Yes, I finally did it [after weeks of ignoring you]. Now that I did you a favor, how about you do me a favor?"
Me: "I know where you are going with this. Please don't. If I need help, I'll ask. Besides, calling the doctor isn't a favor for me. And you aren't comparing apples to apples."
Mom: "Yes, I am. Cancer and being fat..."

I stopped paying attention about then. She got mad. I got mad. And she hung up when I didn't have anything else to say.

This post went to the dark side all of a sudden. Stuck in traffic, I was thinking about these stories as humorous. However, I don't find as much humor to them as I reenact them. I just hope that I'm not as critical of my daughter when she's growing up and when she becomes an adult. I'm sure I'll struggle. But I hope my own life experiences have given me understanding.

And with that, I must go to bed. Work gets in the way of all the fun...and it arrives toooo early!

Live to Eat

I never really understood the phrase "eat to live." I heard someone in line behind me somewhere years ago say that she only ate to live. I thought that was stupid because I figured we all eat to live...we kinda have to. But after all these years, I understand it. I don't practice it, but I understand the meaning.

Tomorrow through this next weekend, I thought I would try out this philosophy -- especially when eating out. I love food when it is yummy. I'm pretty good at not eating something that doesn't taste good regardless of the cost or amount of chocolate. However, if the food tastes good, I would like to eat it. I like Kristy's idea of moderation. I'm just not big on practicing the concept. I thought of all this when my omelet was very fat and tasty at IHOP this afternoon. I wasn't stuffed when I was done, but I started thinking about how it would be good for the waste and good for the wallet to get "just enough."

Another factor in my decision to think eating to live is my girls-only scrapbook weekend away. I only work a half day on Friday, leave to go scrapping, and will come home Sunday evening. While I will only be an hour away, I always get the vacation mentality. These women know how to cook some pretty darn good food!

I'm trying now to prepare myself to eat meals and snacks in moderation. I should really stop thinking that every meal could be my last meal. I will be 34 two weeks from today...I've been preparing for this supposed last meal for a LONG time. And if it is, who cares?!?! I'm pretty sure it won't matter where I'm going.

Kristy -- I said hi to pizza for you yesterday. We went to a cheap, yet tasty, pizza buffet ~ great for our wallets...very bad for the waste. And I thought of you the whole entire time I ate my loaded baked potato pizza slices. Not so much when I ate the small salad.

Have a great week!

Wagons you fall off of

Well, last night was a doozie for food intake. I attended a wine group in which everyone brought cajun food. Jumbalaya, Red beans and Rice (vegetarian), gumbo, and some tasty appetizers, and a carmel and chocolate bread pudding for dessert.

Then there were the wines!! French wines. I tried a Rose (pink and sweet), chardonnay, some kind of white called Evolution, and a couple of velvety reds.

It was so tasty all around. How do you stop yourself?

So this morning I have a Green Smoothie. Fruit and spinach. Best food/alcohol hangover cure I've found yet.. (other than a slinger and a Ski -Clinton County shout out on Wikipedia...WOOT!)

But I digress. What I'm really here to talk about are planning splurges where I eat foods that are rich, decadent, and crave worthy.

Doing the Detox diet sharpened my taste buds, and showed me how much unnecessary, and not so tasty food I was consuming. I am starting to believe that if I eat something reallllly rich and bad for me...it better be DELICIOUS.

So I've been mentally compiling a list of high calorie foods that are worth the extra gym time...or so tasty that a little bit goes a long way.. It needs a catchy name though...like the Bucket List.

Maybe the "10 min extra cardio" list...or something...(Ideas welcome).

A pre-req for this list, is that they are only to be enjoyed in limited quantitites, and with some planning. (Like special outings...maybe once per month I get to choose one...)

• Pizza with a hand-tossed, homemade crust (Onesto's)
  

• That bread pudding from last night
• Spicy Gumbo/Jumbalaya...anything with Andouille sausage


• Onion Rings/Fries


• Rigatoni Pasta with a Cream tomato sauce (made with sausage and peas...yum!)


• All other pasta dishes!


• Bacon Cheeseburger, tomato, lettuce, mayo, mustard, ketchup, pickles, onions...with fries.


• White Castle (sorry we were discussing it the other day, and there's just nothing like it)


• All Stout beers (i.e. the Schlafly Tap Room Oyster and Stout Fest in March)


• Tequila (good tequila)


• Mexican food (no way to eat this healthfully ;)
• Fried chicken with mashed potato's
• Taco Bell (Not really mexican)
• Loaded Nacho's.
  

Hmm. that's a start. Mmm I'm planning a date with Onesto's pizza for February...

Seeing the Truth

I went to the eye doctor today for a follow-up to a hemorrhage I had in my left eye last month. Good news: hemorrhage gone. Figured it would be...the hemorrhage was either caused by the two colds I had prior to my last appointment or a violent puking episode (sorry for any graphics there). Bad news: the optic nerve in my left eye is starting to bulge.

Bad news lead to the "Can we talk?" conversation with the doctor. My reply was "Sure...you aren't my mother so we can talk about weight. I know exactly what you are going to say." And I did know what he was going to say. Dr. H was very nice about it and didn't lecture, ridicule, or make me feel stupid. He offered suggestions for exercise and encouragement.

I immediately called my mom since she had called during my appointment. I told her all was well because being made to feel guilty was not on my afternoon agenda. Then I called one of my friends and cried for awhile. I told the hubby my bad news while he was making his plate at dinner. He never even had the "I told you so" expression, which earns him bonus points.

My bad news? My PTC is starting to come back. There is no way around it: I need to lose weight and keep it off forever. Not for awhile. Not until the next baby, next job, next year...forever. The doctor confirmed my worst fear: I could go blind from this...and the second time around with PTC is much worse than the hellish first time.

I would like to think that God has a reason for this. I'll assume that I wasn't listening to Him hard enough earlier ~ thanks to the noise in Starbucks. Something like that. If not going blind can motivate me to lose 60 lbs once in my life...surely it can a second time. And I plan on never, ever having to lose it a third time. One of my pet peeves is having to do work twice, when it should have been done right the first time.

That was very depressing as a follow-up to the pizza convo Kristy. I'll work harder to lighten things up later this week.

Ode to Pizza

Dear Pizza,

I'm sorry it's been awhile. I don't think we've ever been apart for this long, but you know what they say...Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I know you're not aware of this, but our relationship was very destructive...what with your gooey cheese, and tangy tomato sauce...I couldn't resist you...EVER! I would take advantage of you, hoarding you all to myself.
And then i would ignore you. Oh, sure, we'd share a meal, but my eyes would be focused on the TV during the whole thing.

So it was time for us to take a break...I hope the break is treating you well...I often think of you, whenever I have a tomato, or a small mozzarella cheese stick... i wonder what you're doing, and if you think of me whenever you put on your mushrooms and pepperonis...you always knew my favorite.

Fear not, I know that we will meet again...and when we do, I'll be a stronger, better person for taking the time to really know myself, and to establish the strong boundaries I need to be in a relationship with you, Pizza..

Love,
Kristy

Silence

I have nothing motivational to say. I've taken a small break to celebrate silence. The hubby and child went to KCMO for a long weekend. Hubby was chasing autographs (he's a baseball lover) ~ he even put my mom to work helping him out. And the child went to all three sets of grandparents (maternal, paternal and great). How do you celebrate silence? My original plan was to work out every day. Reality is that I planned social events to coincide with meals, and then didn't have time to work out. Really.

• Wednesday ~ family left; I got very bored and hungry

• Thursday ~ spam friend rice (enough said right there)

• Friday ~ skipped first two meals and ate two cookies during my pedicure; dinner with the girls (and a few husbands)

• Saturday ~ I made waffles for a friend; sitting in front of the fire and then playing Wii created a hunger that could only be satisfied by splitting a meal at Joe's Crabshack

• Sunday ~ met some friends for breakfast; another friend invited me to dinner before our already planned date at Starbucks

• Monday ~ thank goodness, I have no meal plans; family will be home really late

I'm full of excuses. I know it. I'm well aware of that. Tuesday it will be back to poopy diapers, cartoons, dinner making, bedtime stalling, and all the fun stuff that I've totally missed out on this weekend. First I have to finish enjoying the silence.

Cheater, cheater, not a pumpkin eater

Because eating delicious, low cal, highly nutritious pumpkin is actually ok.
Last night I was given tickets to the Blues hockey game to sit in the section where they hand you beer, little chicken nuggets, and popcorn/peanuts and what have you (there was even some hot cocoa walking around in beautiful little paper cups like the ones from Starbucks).

So I decided, upon arrival that the diet thing was pretty much out the window for the night. And I had such an excellent time. I did go dancing after that (booya Gumbohead!), so there was some cardio involved.

Today was spent napping. I think i'm in a rebellious phase...but don't lose heart! I'm back at it today...

My foodiness

I have to say...the one thing about trying to eat 90% vegetarian food is the cool things people do to make savory, filling food out of nothing but beans and veggies.

I'm attending a Cajun themed wine group on Friday night, and I offered to bring vegetarian red beans & rice. this recipe is from a Louisiana native, who set out to make sure she had something as delicious as what she remembered from regular beans and rice...(without Andouille though...i'm unsure.)

woot!

Someday, i also hope to find a fantastic Pizza that is so delicious that I won't care it's low in calories...but i'm pretty sure that will never exist...(unless you know of one???)

Skerred...

My friend, Heather, always liked to say "I ain't skerred!". Well, I am.
I'm skerred of a lot of crap. I lost 4 lbs. I didn't want to tell anyone...because I might ditch it all and gain 10.
I've been coming across a lot of talk about food as a kind of addiction. And it kind of is. Some of the things I'm experiencing right now are very similar to the feelings I had when I quit smoking/coffee/diet coke.

I'm scared that I'm going to fall into a huge pizza and never crawl back out of it.
I'm scared that in order to get and stay fit, I can never eat pizza again. You and I know that it's not true.
But try telling a fear that it's crazy, and it will reward you...with more fears.

I'm scared that I'll find more excuses to quit exercising...and just be miserable.
I'm scared that my weight is a fixed thing...and i'll never be able to lose it
I'm scared that worrying about weight is all I'll ever do with my life.
I'm scared that Britney Spears will show up @ the Super Bowl with Bruce Springsteen.

And it's cyclical. I wake up full of energy and feel great! Then by the end of the day...I'm exhausted.

Tonight I've been sneaking cheese cubes...CHEESE CUBES. Seriously. They are made out of 2% milk, and I'm getting hungry just thinking about them. (PS. They are only sort of tasty in a desert island, no food, kind of way.)
And it's only when I'm sitting in front of a screen. Here or the TV. When I wash dishes, I feel full.

There is no justice in this world. I love the internet and I love TV. They both go better with cheese cubes.
Know what I hate? Washing the dishes, folding the laundry.

blech.

Oh ya, good news.

• Lost 4 lbs.
• Successfully finished 9 days of a veggie/no bad carb/no alchol/no sugar diet.
• Noticed a definite firming up of body areas.
• Had a nice eHarmony date.
• Exercise is going well, and it's much less of a chore. The lack of swimming tonight probably has something to do with my crankiness.
• Feel really good in the morning and right after evening workouts

Still need more yoga and meditation...but i'm getting there. I do love me some meditation.

Stay warm, all!!

Motivation Revelation

Kristy's math is amazing. I have nothing that analytical to report. My mind shuts off when the little one goes to bed...

However, I think her last post ties in perfectly with the "Motivation for Fitness and Healthier Living" presentation (by Lew Schiffman) that I attended on Friday. All his information (and anything I quote) is taken or based on the book Getting Physical by Art Turock.

The #1 reason why Americans don't exercise is the reason "lack of time."

Recognize that not having the time is a trap. The trap is that each of us has a fixed sense of what can "reasonably" be done in a given day including sleep, work, family, and social activities. If there doesn't appear to be enough available time for exercise, an "either - or" situation is created.

Committed exercisers find ways to have it all. They give up a rigid attachment to their existing schedule and adjust it to include time for all important commitments. When you're committed to being fit, the time you have never had for exercising suddenly appears. The problem has never been lack of time as lack of commitment.

And this is my revelation -- I have plenty of motivation to exercise. Being around for many years to see my beautiful little girl grow up is my top motivator. The size 10 clothes hanging in our spare bedroom closet is a distant motivator, but it's there. Wanting to have another baby is a major motivator.

The point is that I have several motivators. However, I have zero commitment. Nada. None. I'm a total commitment-phobe. Always have been.

I think this is a giant step for me. I can quit wasting time trying to find my motivation. I know what my motivation is...and it has been here all along. Now, I need to commit. And I'll start working on that tomorrow. Or maybe Wednesday...

A whole week

It's been quite a week. I forgot that without television there could be so much to do.

Something about starting exercising regularly feels like it sucks up all my free time and that I'm soooo busy and overtaxed with things to do. My family mocks me when I whine...

I want to do the math on this...

Total time: 7 days X 24 hours/day = 168 hours per week.

Sleep: 7 days X 8 hours/day = 56 hours per week.

Work: 5 days X 8 hours/day = 40 hours per week

Drive time for work: 5 days/week X 0.5 hours/day =2.5 hours per week.

Household chores/essentials (bill pay, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, doggie/kitty upkeep, Grooming :-):

**Estimated, and I'm being very generous when I say "cleaning"

** 7 days per week X 3 hours/day = 21 hours per week

"Free time" =Total-(Sleep+Work+Household chores)

168-(56+40+21+2.5)=48.5 hours left.

Wow. That's an impressive bit of free time. Thinking it over though, because I am single and go home to animals each evening, I'm going to add "Quality Personal Human Interaction time". Time to be social, and talk with good friends and such. Because that's as essential to good health as cooking/cleaning etc. . So let's say:

Quality Personal Human Interaction Time: 7 days X 2 hours/day = 14 hours/week

168-(56+40+21+2.5+14) = 34.5 hours left.

Aargh let's look at the plan, shall we?

1 Swim = 2 hours,

(with travel time, 45-60 min of actual swimming +swim prep/cleanup etc.)

2 hours X 2 days per week = 4 hours/week.

1 Strength train = 1.5 hours /session.

1.5 hours X 2 days per week = 3 hours per week.

Yoga + Meditation 1 hour/ day = 7 hours per week

Uh oh...let's count it up...

7+3+4= 14 hours per week of my free time.

So it eats up about half of my free time.

Is that so bad? hmmm.... It's just harder than sitting on the couch watching DVD's of "The Desparate Housewives".

High Heels

Ready for a jumble of thoughts?

I have found that high heels motivate me. They motivate me to stand taller, walk with purpose, and make me feel slimmer. One of my resolutions is to buy shoes of color. All my dress shoes are black. Most I had to throw out or donate due to my feet growing during my pregnancy.

Since this first month of posts is about our rededication, here is my update:

1. I have eaten breakfast every day this week. One day I ate it for lunch, but I'm still proud.
2. I have done my Walk Away the Pounds (one mile walk) two times this week. I'm not sure I did the workout two times last year.
3. I'm attending a lunch and learn tomorrow to dine on salad and learn about motivation. Lord knows I need it.
4. To help with my relaxation resolutions, the hubby and I are going to dinner tomorrow evening and taking the child to a Parent's Night Out event. We are seriously living dangerously here.
5. Work is going exceptionally well. I was asked to head up a big project today that will spice up my work life. I have been working on fun projects all week and have thoroughly enjoyed being at work...with only one or two minor (stupid people) exceptions.

So far so good this year! Happy (almost) Friday!!!

The First Weigh-In of the Year

Well, I'm not nearly as motivated as Kristy to exercise. But I did make it out to the first TOPS meeting of the year. This is my SEVENTH "first weigh-in of the year". I'm not sure if I should be proud or depressed about that!

I joined TOPS in September 2002 as a way to prevent blindness. Weird, yes. After months of horrible head pain, I was finally diagnosed with Pseudotumor Cerebri (PTC) ~ also known as Intracranial Hypertension. The head pain was similar (but also totally different) than my typical migraines. The short story was that my body was producing too much CSF or just couldn't absorb the CSF it did make.

Typically this rare disorder blesses fat woman who are baby-making age. Thanks to lots of research, I know that it inflicts lots of people. However, the description fit me. If the pressure continues on and on, you could go blind thanks to the damage to the optic nerves. And that totally freaked me out. I made some major changes and immediately started a two year journey to lose 60 lbs. Thanks to the weight loss and lots of good meds, the PTC symptoms totally disappeared. Life was pretty wonderful physically...being a size 10 didn't make all my problems disappear but it sure did make some good shopping!

Fast forward a few years, out pops a nearly 11 lb baby. Most of the baby weight comes off. Then I start a job where I sit. And stress. Then sit some more. And now I have 60+ lbs to lose ~ again.

Apparently I celebrated the holidays a little too well in 2008 because at tonight's weigh in, I was certainly very plentiful. But this is what I enjoy about the start of each new year...I get to feel like I'm not toooooo far behind on all the work projects. I get to start all over on the weight loss since the first weigh in doesn't count as a gain or loss -- just a do over.

Hopefully I get back on track tomorrow...and start to put some thought into this whole journey. I wish I put as much thought into all this as Kristy does. I will certainly enjoy learning from her!

Day 1, we had lots of fun

Well, not really. I spent a large part of the day hungry, got up too late to swim in the morning before work, and felt kind of crappy all day with a vague sinus headache. Then when I went to swim in the evening, they had 6 of us crammed into a lane. SIX People?

But I made it through, managing to swim for about 15 min and I just finished a dinner of a half a sweet potato, 2 scrambled eggs, and a glass of skim milk. Now I'm officially full and sleepy and it's only 7:10!

Food for me is a huge issue, and one that I've refused to be regimented about in my health overhauls over the years. My biggest downfall with food is that I love it in most of it's forms, especially those that you can consume in mass quantities.

"Emotional Eating" describes eating habits that connect to emotions. The feeling of fullness prevents emotions from surfacing, acting as a kind of legal drug. It's not awesome...but cheaper than alcohol.

After weeks of eating anything and everything, the restrictions feel close to my attempts to quit smoking. Anger flares up more quickly, feelings that have been buried come to the surface, sharp answers to everything are on the tip of my tongue.

This sounds terrible, but it's good and necessary...or so they say.

Oh ya, on my detox diet, it's basically eating a ton of veggies and fruits and limiting the rest of your food to a couple of servings a day.

I'm off to make Kale and Bean soup! Yum!

Another year, another resolution!

Hello out there! Since I (Danielle) am a totally new blogger, I’m going to start out basic and short. If I keep this up (and Kristy can kick my butt if I don’t!), I’ll sprinkle in all the good “get to know me” stuff along the way. I have to get the first post up and out or it will never happen. I’m totally lacking in all areas that require motivation.

My 2009 Resolutions:

1. Get below 200 lbs
2. Relax more
3. Eat breakfast
4. Buy shoes of color
5. Drink more water
6. Eat at more hole-in-the-wall spots
7. Finish wedding scrapbook
8. Play Wii more
9. Learn how to cook better
10. Paint and decorate house

Numbers 1, 3, and 5 have brought me here. Hopefully Number 6 won’t turn into something that prevents 1, 3, and 5. Number 8 and 2 are part of my new exercise plans.

Number 1 is my big thing. It is a HUGE step for me even to get close to telling my weight. I belong to TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) and don’t mind the ladies weighing me in knowing my weight. However, it freaks me out to discuss it with others. I have a mirror…enough said. I did read an article the other day about how married couples do all kinds of gross things in front of each other, but showing their weight is a big issue. I feel the same way…my husband knows all the intimate details but I hate, hate, hate talking about my weight with my husband (and mother). Don’t worry -- I’ve been to therapy plenty of times…I know the husband/mother connection is an issue. But that’s for another day!!!

I want to thank Kristy for sharing the whole blog thing with me. Since I have been a TOPS member since 2002, I know all about support and how important it is. I’m excited about the opportunities and optimism that always comes with the new year. Plus I love to talk about myself (I think my strange life really is an interesting read). And since I’m more of a copy-editor at work vs. a real writer, blogging will take care of many needs in my life. Until next time…