Seeing the Truth

I went to the eye doctor today for a follow-up to a hemorrhage I had in my left eye last month. Good news: hemorrhage gone. Figured it would be...the hemorrhage was either caused by the two colds I had prior to my last appointment or a violent puking episode (sorry for any graphics there). Bad news: the optic nerve in my left eye is starting to bulge.

Bad news lead to the "Can we talk?" conversation with the doctor. My reply was "Sure...you aren't my mother so we can talk about weight. I know exactly what you are going to say." And I did know what he was going to say. Dr. H was very nice about it and didn't lecture, ridicule, or make me feel stupid. He offered suggestions for exercise and encouragement.

I immediately called my mom since she had called during my appointment. I told her all was well because being made to feel guilty was not on my afternoon agenda. Then I called one of my friends and cried for awhile. I told the hubby my bad news while he was making his plate at dinner. He never even had the "I told you so" expression, which earns him bonus points.

My bad news? My PTC is starting to come back. There is no way around it: I need to lose weight and keep it off forever. Not for awhile. Not until the next baby, next job, next year...forever. The doctor confirmed my worst fear: I could go blind from this...and the second time around with PTC is much worse than the hellish first time.

I would like to think that God has a reason for this. I'll assume that I wasn't listening to Him hard enough earlier ~ thanks to the noise in Starbucks. Something like that. If not going blind can motivate me to lose 60 lbs once in my life...surely it can a second time. And I plan on never, ever having to lose it a third time. One of my pet peeves is having to do work twice, when it should have been done right the first time.

That was very depressing as a follow-up to the pizza convo Kristy. I'll work harder to lighten things up later this week.